19

 

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ARJUN

“Sure you have everything you need?” I ask Shreya.

I do not remember how the night flew by. We are at the airport – myself, Shreya, her parents and Abhimanyu. The cab has dropped us outside the airport and I want to both delay her departure as well as to hasten it. How does that make sense!?

“Yep. I have everything.” She says, not quite meeting my eyes. She hugs Aai who is sobbing. “Aai, you promised me you won’t cry!” She says in a choked voice. Aai releases her from her hug and hurriedly wipes her tears. Baba is much more composed and pats Shreya on her back with a simple and heartfelt ‘Come back soon; we will miss you.’

Then she hugs Abhimanyu. “You are almost as tall as me! When I return, you would have probably crossed me in height!” She remarks with a watery chuckle. “Keep practicing your drawings okay. I will see you over video-calls. Show me your drawings then.”

When it is finally my turn, she just stares at me, looking so lost, that I cannot help but pull her to myself and hug her. Why can’t I find any words to say something??

“Call me every day, any time. Preferably over video.” I manage to say despite the lump in my throat. She just nods and tightens her arms around me. I try to project everything I want to tell her in that hug. It seems insufficient.

She withdraws herself from the hug. My arms feel incomplete suddenly. Without looking at any of us, she manages to blurt out a very choked ‘Bye’ and proceeds inside the airport. At the entrance, she pauses briefly and glances back. With a watery smile and a wave of her hand, my Kiddo leaves for a land far away from me.

We linger at the airport for about two more hours. When we finally get a call from her that her security check is complete and she is now proceeding towards the departure gate, I book a cab for home. None of us speaks anything. As if sensing the grief surrounding him, Abhimanyu scoots nearer to me in the car and I hold him tight.

A wave of despair hits me when we reach the building. As I take in the familiar compound, I realize that there won’t be any walks with Kiddo. Her absence hits me hard. I do not want to go inside and face the emptiness. I ask Aai and Baba whether they would like to dine somewhere. They politely refuse. After dropping them off, I decide to take Abhimanyu to a restaurant near to my complex. Anything to escape the emptiness that overwhelms me.

‘You are sad.” Abhimanyu says as we sit around a table and wait for our orders. “I do not like it when you are sad.” The boy says, warming my heart.

“Kiddo is my…” I try to find words to describe what she means to me. I cannot find any words to justify.

Just then, an elderly supervisor of the restaurant who has become a good acquaintance comes and greets me. “Hello Arjun Sir! How are you?”

“I am fine, Uncle. How are you? Have a seat.” I tell him and scoot over to make place for him. In the past, I often used to come here to meet those prospective brides-to-be whom Amma used to choose for me. I chuckle slightly thinking about that part of my life. It feels so far away now.

“I am searching for my spectacles. I do not know where I left them.” Uncle says. “I have not seen you since a while. No more brides-to-be?” He asks teasingly.

“None of them worked out, Uncle.”

“I don’t know why but I thought you will end up with your Kiddo about whom you keep talking all the time. You did not even spare the girls you were with.” He says with an amused smile.

I frown. “Do I talk about her a lot?”

“Oh, the number of times I heard you take her name!” He turns towards Abhimanyu with a smile. “Every time I passed this way or took his order, I would hear him talk about her. Then finally he brought her here once and I swear, it was like they both were made for each other.” He turns towards me and shakes his head in exasperation. “No wonder none of the girls worked out for you. They must have developed a severe complex just hearing you talk about your Kiddo.” He touches his pocket and exclaims. “Ah! Got my specs!” He rubs them over his shirt and placing them carefully over his eyes, he looks at me and says. “Isn’t it amazing how something is right in front of our eyes but we fail to see it?” He winks at me and leaves.

It was like someone lit up a flame inside me. My entire world comes crumbling down around me. As realization dawns, it brings me both joy and despair as I finally face something which I probably knew deep in my heart but never acknowledged.

I love Kiddo.

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