22
SHREYA
I feel fuzzy. My mind keeps telling me that it is a
wrong time to call Arjun. But something in me prompts me to call him.
Vaguely I realize that I am leaving for my country
in a day. Five months rushed by. When I look back, I think only two things kept
me on my feet – my work and my video calls and messages with Arjun. It is so
strange that we were more in touch when there was space and distance between
us. I cannot wait to see him. It is a physical ache – this longing for him.
I dial him over video, ignoring my mind’s feeble
reminder that I am a bit drunk now and should not call him. I want to see him
right now and nothing can stop me.
He attends the call. There he is, my heart, my life,
my everything. From the looks of it, he is in his office. He smiles and
gestures to me to wait as he clips on his headset.
“Hey Kiddo...” He looks at his watch and frowns.
“You are up late. It would be around midnight there now. Come on, go to sleep.
You have a flight to catch in a few hours. I cannot believe that you will be
here tomorrow!” He says, sounding awed.
I tilt my head. “Did you miss me?”
He narrows his eyes. “Your speech is slurred. Are
you drunk?”
I nod my head. “A little. My colleagues decided to
throw a send-off party for me. I thought one drink would not do any harm.
Apparently I had more than one.”
He sits up straight. “Please tell me you are at
home!”
The panic in his voice makes me smile. “Yes I am. I
love it when you get all protective about me.”
“Of course I will be. After all, you…”
I cut him short. “But that is not enough, right?”
“What is not enough, Kiddo?” The gentleness in his
tone brings tears to my eyes.
“This, what we have…” I gesture between us. “I want
more. But you do not want it!” The last words come out as an accusation. My
mind is now screaming at me to stop right now but I decide to throw caution to
the winds.
He leans back on his chair and looks at me. “I am
listening, Kiddo. Tell me what you want.”
“I want us to be more than friends! I love you,
Arjun! I have loved you since I understood the concept of love. I have watched
in dread as you met one female after another for a marriage alliance! I have
rejoiced when it did not work out for you. I have struggled whether to tell my
feelings to you or to hide them from you! But you had no idea, isn’t it?” I do
not care that I am sobbing now. It is as if the separation for the last 6
months has finally decided to get a release in the form of tears.
“I had no idea! Please stop crying, Kiddo. You know
I cannot see you cry.” He says, his face clouded with a strange emotion.
“And yet that is all I have done since a long time!
I thought if I get away from you, I probably will get over you. But I was so
wrong! It has always been only you for me, Arjun. There can never be anyone
else.”
I bow my head as tears rack my entire being. In a
haze, I register him calling out my name but I am not in a position to respond.
I manage to say. “See you at the airport tomorrow.”
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